We will be pausing the Whatif? Wednesday Thought Letter for July and August, returning after Labour Day. In the meantime, here’s an article from the archive I hope you will find helpful as you spend more time with family and friends over the summer.

What is a Meaningful Conversation

I posted an article on meaningful work, relationships, recognition, and the employee experience, and it struck a nerve. One reader said, “I feel like sending this article to my CEO to help him understand why I decided to leave after seven years with the company.” Another added, “I lost all sense of where my work and personal lives began and ended, and it never seemed enough. I couldn’t see a picture of success.”

In that article, I said we need meaningful conversations to understand better what makes a meaningful work experience. This is the elephant in the room as we try to figure out where and how we will work post-pandemic. From my discussions with clients and executives, it’s clear both sides are struggling with this issue, with neither feeling heard and understood. They are also challenged to approach the subject with each other on an equal footing. The power dynamic has shifted, and with the advent of quiet quitting, a different conversation is needed.

So, what is a meaningful conversation? First, here are my thoughts on what it isn’t. It’s not about advocating your position to make others understand your point of view and defending it when questioned or challenged. If you intend to be right, then others must be wrong. When we push our view on others, the natural response is to push back. Anyone with teenagers experiences this daily.

A meaningful conversation is one where we start with the intent of getting a deeper understanding of what truly matters to someone and why. It goes beyond what’s being said to get at the values and beliefs that led to their perspective. It’s rooted in curiosity, empathy, and a genuine desire to understand—leading with questions, listening and understanding. When someone feels heard and understood, we gain their trust, which is the currency of all relationships. Two great reads related to this are The Trusted Advisor and Humble Inquiry. Both speak of asking vs. telling to make a conversation meaningful.

What if we approached every discussion with the mindset that we want a deeper understanding of where each other is coming from? What if we chose to lead with inquiry over advocacy? What if both parties felt heard and understood? How might they respond? Armed with a deeper understanding, people move from defending firmly held positions to finding common ground. After all, we all want meaningful work, relationships, and a meaningful experience in everything we do.

Have a wonderful summer, and as always, stay curious.